I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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