there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
