the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
