I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
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Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
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You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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