I think im going to throw up on grandma
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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