I'm gonna have a badass scar
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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