fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
