Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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