I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
