Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
