Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
