boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
