Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
