Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize