distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
