i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
