i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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