I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
