Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
3 2 1 whiskey
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
