They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
