i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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