Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
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