There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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