It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
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