a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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