She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
whose parrot is this?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
