loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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