it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize