do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
