yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Randomize
