we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
