i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
