His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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