Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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