I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
And my parents said I crawled through the house
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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