She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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