im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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