I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize