There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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