i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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