if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
