Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
