i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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