I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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