That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
