everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I've blown a few things in my day
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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