I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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