It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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