is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Randomize
