Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize