look no pants
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
