I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
