haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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