I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
