So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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