you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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