my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
you inspire me to be a worse person
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
