hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize