He is such a slut. More and more my type.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
