btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
