I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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