THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
